The Amazing Race, April 22 – When It Becomes “Truly Amazing”

Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

I’m afraid to watch The Amazing Race tonight. I’ve seen and read previews, and my sister just told me she shed a few tears while watching it, so it’s scaring me a little. I’m worried. Definitely worried.

From Tanzania, Kentucky team Bopper and Mark look for medical help in their hotel room. Mark says his leg is in pretty bad shape after injuring it a few weeks ago getting out of the safari truck. He’s devastated that it could take him out of the Race, as it’s important to him and Mark, and they need the money. The medic tells him if he keeps a brace on his knee, it should be enough to keep him in the Race, and he’s definitely relieved.

Kentucky leave at 9:06 PM. Their clue tells them to fly to Cochin, India, and make their way to a bus station to catch a bus to Sacred Heart College. Mark is still worried about Bopper’s knee, and says if he has to do all the running, he will, just to stay in the game. Bopper announces, “Kentucky is still in the game, Baby.”

Blonde Rachel and Dave leave one minute later, and he mentions that their relationship with Border Patrol agents Art and J.J. is pretty much done after they didn’t U-Turn Big Brother team Brendon and Rachel last week. He knows J.J. in particular is upset. She explains they aren’t about to do J.J.’s dirty work. If the relationship can be restored, that’s good, otherwise, they’ll just continue on. They reach the travel agency just after Kentucky. Their flight doesn’t leave until 7:40 the next morning, and Rachel knows Border Patrol should be showing up any minute. She’s wondering if they’ll be asking them questions about their itinerary.

Border Patrol leave at 9:32 PM, and they discuss their agreement with Rachel and Dave to U-Turn Big Brother. Art knows they got screwed over by “Major Dave.” He announces, “We’re done, Major Dave; take your Army ass and get out of my face.” They reach the travel agency and find the other two teams there. They ask to get tickets and for use of the Internet. They ignore Rachel and Dave completely and confirm the 7:40 AM flight is the soonest. Rachel explains they aren’t there to make friends, but win. Kentucky call Border Patrol babies. Meanwhile, Border Patrol is grousing that Rachel and Dave didn’t even say hi and call them out for not having integrity.

Big Brother leaves at 11:55 PM, and Redhead Rachel mentions being U-Turned by Border Patrol on the last leg. Regardless, they survived it, and are over it, feeling they proved to everyone that they are good competitors. They make it to the travel agency and book their flight, which is assumably the same as the others. Vanessa and Ralph leave at 1:31 AM and discussing “Big Baby” U-Turning them. They’re just happy that they still have a U-Turn left to use, if one should happen to pop up. The make it to the travel agency and book the same flight and use the computer for research, finding another flight that will arrive earlier than the others.

Vanessa and Ralph arrive in Cochin first and ask to see a bus schedule. The others arrive while they’re checking into the schedule, and Vanessa growls at losing their lead. Everyone heads out to the bus terminal, and Blonde Rachel and Dave hit the first bus out of there, while Big Brother and Border Patrol hit the second one, and Vanessa and Ralph the third one. Kentucky are trying to figure out where and how to get tickets. They find the terminal, and are concerned to not find any of the other teams. Mark asks if the bus has already left, and told it has, but it will come again soon.

In the buses, Brendon is feeling he is so much bigger than everyone else, as the locals all seem to be smaller than him. As is the usual with teams racing through India, Art seems about ready to vomit because of the smell on the bus. Blonde Rachel mentions India is a very busy place with lots of people and cars, and Dave just finds it very cultural. Kentucky finally catches a bus, and Mark is worried about getting sick. Wait until he catches a whiff.

Blonde Rachel and Dave are the first team to reach Sacred Heart College and find a Roadblock. One person from each team must work on the set of a Bollywood movie and learn a dance routine. After, they’ll join a group of extras and perform it for a Bollywood director. When their routine is “camera-ready,” they’ll receive the next clue. Dave decides that Rachel has all the right right moves and should be doing this challenge. She runs off with an extra to switch clothes. Dave is just happy that this eliminates the dancing for him as he didn’t inadvertently select it.


Border Patrol arrives at the college and argue over who has to do the Roadblock. Art has a pretty good argument. He had to do the last dancing Roadblock. J.J. can’t argue with that one and agrees to do it. Dave laughs a little at the thought of seeing J.J. dance, as Redhead Rachel accepts the challenge for her team, and Vanessa does for hers. Dave wonders how many males who are federal law enforcement oriented are also quality dancers.


Blonde Rachel starts learning the dance, saying she was in dance all through her school years, but has never danced Bollywood style. Dave knows if he was stuck doing it, they’d be there for several hours. Redhead Rachel runs out and is lucky to find a green group to dance with. She thinks they have fun outfits with the sequins and glitter. Ralph thinks Vanessa will do okay at this, as she actually has some Puerto Rican in her. This leaves J.J. as the only “dude” dancing from the Race so far, as Kentucky still hasn’t arrived yet.

Mark is having a hard time in the bus, but has his barf bag ready. He talks about the smog in the air, and says if you stick your head out the window, it just gets worse. The “dancers” are learning the routine, and the girls all look like they’re having no problem, but J.J. is definitely having his struggles, saying he feels like a “fat Elvis.”

Kentucky finally make it to the college, as the others are getting tired of learning this dance, referring to it as the “never-ending dance routine.” Art thinks the “whole arm-foot stepping think is jacking” J.J. up a little. Mark is already sick, but because of Bopper’s knee, Mark has to do the routine. Brendon asks Bopper who Mark’s rhythm is. “He ain’t got much rhythm, but he’s got heart.”

J.J. is the first one to go up and test his dancing knowledge, and Redhead Rachel can’t figure that out, referring to him as a “clumsy oaf.” He takes his spot on the stage, and Art jams along while J.J. dances. He doesn’t look good, and raises his arms while the others have them down. Blonde Rachel calls it terrible, and Art proclaims, “Dudes can’t dance like chicks; it just ain’t gonna happen.”Blonde Rachel decides to try her had at dancing onstage, and you can see her obvious dance training. Bopper and Dave enjoy her performance. She passes, and she and Dave get a clue telling them to head to the Indian Coffee House and find the Head Waiter who will give them their next clue. Art is keeping score. “Chicks 1, Dudes Nothing.” Bopper claims he is normally the dance man, but says this old knee injury has come back to haunt him at the wrong time.

Blonde Rachel and Dave hit up a rickshaw and head to the coffee house. While Mark is told to keep practicing the dance, J.J. doesn’t think he’ll ever get this. Mark also starts getting dizzy. Vanessa takes the stage to try out the dance and makes the same arms mistake that J.J. did. She’s told to figure out where she went wrong. As Redhead Rachel takes the stage, Art is still complaining about dudes not moving the same as girls, saying it just doesn’t look the same. Redhead Rachel messes up her arms in a different way than the others.

Arriving at the coffee house, Blonde Rachel and Dave get their next clue, a Detour – Cricket or Clutch It. In Cricket, each team member will be required to hit one ball past a professional cricket player to the boundary around the field. The ball can either be hit along the ground or over the top. In Clutch It, teams will have to learn skills used by the rickshaw drivers and transport passengers around a training course.


Blonde Rachel wants to Clutch It, while Dave admits he would have rather done Cricket. Rachel tells him he doesn’t have skill and ability in Cricket, but he counters he has skill and ability in every sport. She fakes a gag, and I think everyone watching this right now is doing the same thing. These flight simulators are not like the ones we had in Driver’s Ed. Rachel thinks they’re fun, and eventually gets to do some real “road-training.” She and Dave then switch seats when he takes offense to her laughing during training.

Back at the Bollywood dance, J.J. is trying again, and messes up the arms yet again. Art is still playing the same broken record that he’ll never look like all the chicks out there, obviously ignoring the fact there are male and female Bollywood dancers. Vanessa is having a tough time still as well, saying she used to be able to do this. Does she mean dance in general or has she done Bollywood before? Bopper points out that Mark is sweating while he’s learning the dance. He’s been a fan of the Race longer than Mark, so he is keeping his faith in him, sure that he’ll get it figured out.

Brendon knows if Rachel gets emotional, it will throw off her game. He says it’s good to have a girl on your team to do things like this, but it’s bad because they get emotional. She tries the dance again, and once again messes up the arms. She jumps off the stage pouting, saying it’s never going to be perfect, making Ralph call her Big Baby again, and making Art compare her to the cheerleader who doesn’t make the team but keeps trying anyway. He also knows he should have done this thing.

Blonde Rachel says driving a rickshaw is harder than it looks, as it’s hard to turn on a dime. Dave is still trying to learn how to drive this vehicle. He hits a pole and fails. She remarks when she did it she at least made it a lot more fun and hit a bunch of poles. She takes her stab again at it.

Mark decides to perform the routine before he passes out or has a heart attack. Brendon tries to talk Rachel out of getting emotional, like we’ve seen him do hundreds of times before on Big Brother, but she claims it’s hard not to be when you’re a girl. Well, I do know some guys who have a hard time not getting emotional, and I also know some girls who have no problem being stoic through everything. Vanessa claims she has nothing left. Art is deciding J.J. looks like a gorilla in a chiffon suit. Mark makes his first attempt at dancing onstage and messes up the arms. Bopper tells him they’re Kentucky boys, not Las Vegas dancers, so he just needs to keep his head up.

Vanessa finally completes the dance on her third attempt and moves on. Redhead Rachel makes her fourth attempt and tries to stay non-emotional. Mark complains of having no energy and thinks he’s about to pass out, but Bopper knows he won’t give up. J.J. is complaining that this isn’t the one he wanted to do. Rachel finally completes this thing and they get their clue and move on.

J.J. thinks he’s going to cost he and Art the whole Race, and Mark thinks he’s about to get sick again. Art convinces J.J. to make his fourth attempt, while Mark keeps learning off to the side. This time J.J. finishes and gets the clue. His dance troupe congratulates him probably more than Art does. Art, however, does give him the moniker of “Hollywood Travolta.” And his official score now is “Chicks 3, Dudes 1.” Bopper knows they’re in last place. Mark puts his heart into his third attempt, and nearly makes it, but messes up the arms. He reasons it out with the guys teaching him the dance, saying he can barely raise his arms anymore.

Dave asks Blonde Rachel if she’ll listen to him on when to turn, and she says she will if he’s nice about it. He thinks she has it, but she counters that she won’t if he keeps barking in her ear. He yells at the end in celebration, “Listen to your frickin’ husband!” She completes it, and they get the clue to make their way to the next pit stop, Bolgatty Palace.

Vanessa and Ralph make it to the coffee place and get the clue to the Detour. They decide to Clutch It. She gets behind the wheel first. Ralph thinks it just seems like a simpler task to do, while Vanessa admits she failed Driver’s Ed, and she’s hit a few things in San Antonio, including the Alamo. She calls that an accident. Okay, I did hit a garage door … once. I had my learner’s permit at the time and was driving with my dad. I will never, ever live that down.

Big Brother arrive and get the clue, deciding to do Cricket. Border Patrol arrive and decide to do the same. Both teams start learning how to play, as J.J. tells Art it’s just like baseball. None of them do well hitting the ball initially.Mark makes his fourth attempt at the dance with lots of encouragement from Bopper. The screen pans out as we then see his fifth attempt, and finally his sixth attempt. He finally gets this thing done, or thinks he does, but he’s a little slow getting his arm up and is failed. Bopper goes out there and asks if he’s okay, saying he doesn’t want him to crack his head. He wants to be just as supportive as Mark was with him and his knee. But Mark doesn’t want to think about quitting and says he just wants to give it all he’s got. You know, other teams sit there and fight at times like this, and these two just support each other more. I just want Bopper’s daughter to get the medical help she needs.

Blonde Rachel and Dave arrive at the palace to have Phil Koeghan call them team number one … again. Isn’t this the fifth time? They win a trip for two to St. Lucia. Dave thinks they are without a doubt the strongest team left in the Race, and with regards to Border Patrol, they’ll resolve the situation, and if not, they’ll just beat ‘em.

Vanessa starts steering around the driving course and hits a pole. She calls out, “Son of a Monkey’s Uncle.” I’ve never heard that one before. Back at Cricket, Big Brother and Border Patrol are turning it into batting practice. J.J. finally hits a long one, but the outfielder catches it just before it hits the boundary, pissing him off. Brendon hits one out there to the boundary, and J.J. finally does as well. It’s left to Art and Rachel now, as J.J. claims if he can dance, Art can sure hit a ball.

Mark is making his seventh attempt at the dance, and he can’t move. Bopper is telling him to just take a penalty, as he’s getting too hot. Mark refuses to give up. He makes his seventh attempt at this, and they stop him for his arms not being right yet again. This is simply heartbreaking. I know where my sister’s tears were from. As Mark calls out to do it one more time, Bopper says, “To hell with the money; I’d rather have my buddy.” Mark says he has to do it, but Bopper counters he has no more to give. But Mark has to.


Vanessa completes the driving course, and it’s Ralph’s turn. Redhead Rachel and Art are left to get the ball in Cricket. Rachel claims Border Patrol has animosity for them for no reason, and mentions being U-Turned by them. Art hits one out there that falls just short. Rachel finally hits a line drive that makes it, and they’re on their way to the pit stop. She calls it a good feeling that both Art and J.J. got beat by a girl. Finally Art gets it, and they take off for the pit stop. Ralph make it through the driving course, and he and Vanessa take off for the pit stop.

Mark is still working on this dancing thing, saying if it weren’t for his kids, he would have quit by now. He better get a hellluva Father’s Day gift this year. Bopper says if he’d have known Mark was going to be put through this, he would have tried it himself. Mark makes his ninth, tenth, and eleventh attempt and still doesn’t pass it. Bopper tries yet again to just convince him to go home. Mark says he thinks they might be able to do it. He can do it; he’s just sick. Bopper tells him they gave it all they have and can’t give anymore. They came here as friends and will leave as friends. Big Brother crosses Phil’s mat to be named team number two. They are ecstatic.

Mark has his head buried in his hands, saying he is evaluating what’s important in life. His kids come to his mind, and he starts to wonder what they would do without him, making him very emotional. He has three kids to raise and decides to go home and asks Bopper if it’s okay, and of course, it is. Mark says a million dollars isn’t worth not walking his kids down the aisle and not being able to go to the ball games. Someone on the Bollywood set tries to convince him to try one more time. Bopper refuses and says he’s going home to his kids, as Bopper cries for his buddy.

Border Patrol hits Phil’s mat to be named team number three, and they’re ecstatic. Vanessa and Ralph are named team number four, and she says “Wow.” It doesn’t seem like she’s surprised they made it in time, but more she’s surprised their in fourth place after being in second place when they got to the Detour.

Bopper asks Mark if he feels better after he rests, and he says he doesn’t know. Bopper tells him to finish it for their kids. He wants him to calm himself down, get suited up again, and give them one more dance, then they’ll be out of there. Bopper cries for him and tells him they’ve worked so hard to get where they are. Mark decides to try it one more time. He’s thinking if they just stay out there for one more dance and finish the leg and don’t quit, their kids will be proud. I think they should have been proud many attempts ago, and really, perhaps the whole time. Mark is cheered on and takes the stage again. He probably does the dance as well as he did it the last few times anyway, but it’s literally a heart-stopping moment when he’s given a pass and gets the clue. There isn’t one person not celebrating around him. Kentucky head to the coffee house and choose to do Clutch It at the Detour.

Kentucky know the race has challenged them physically and mentally. They were true underdogs coming into the Race, and have proved themselves, giving 150% in everything they’ve done, so they can hold their heads up high. Who would have thought two boys from Kentucky could have been given this opportunity to be in India? They are indeed the last to arrive on Phil’s mat, as they tell Phil it was an honor to be there, and they were tickled to do it. Mark talks about staying with it for his kids, saying people were backing him, and he finally just did it. Bopper says when he looked in Mark eyes and saw “nobody’s home,” but that he kept going, he knew he do it, too, for Mark and his family. He says everyone could use some extra money, but nobody could replace Mark.

Phil lets Kentucky go through all that and then tells them, incredibly, that it’s yet another non-elimination leg for them. This is the second time this has happened to them. They are told they’ll have to do a speed bump in the next leg, and Mark promises to give everything they’ve got in their heart and soul. Like they haven’t already? Bopper knows they have a tough leg coming, but he promises to fight their way to the final three, then promises that someone will have to fight the Kentucky boys for the million dollar prize.

Good God. These guys have already won. I have been watching reality TV since midway through the first season of Survivor. I have been writing reality TV recaps since I filled in as a sub on an episode of Amazing Race the week after Mirna and Charla were eliminated on their first season. I’ve watched every Idol be crowned, and I’ve watched I don’t know many people think they could dance. I’ve watched guys propose to women with a rose, and I’ve watched people lose hundreds of pounds in mere weeks. I’ve watched celebrities dance with each other, and I’ve watched them fight each other in a boardroom. But throughout all of that, I can’t remember ever seeing a moment like I just saw tonight. It truly is an “amazing” race.