The Amazing Race, April 15 – Kookoocachoo the Baboons

Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.



The racers should all know the U-Turn is coming. It’s directly following a non-elimination leg, and there are only six teams left. And with all the crap that was flying between them all after last week, who knows how this is going to turn out. The Teachers/Federal Agents aren’t out of it yet. Everyone could gang up on others in the Double U-Turn, which would allow the Federal Agents to catch up. There aren’t many there who like Big Brother team Rachel and Brendon, so I don’t know how they’re going to escape the Double U-Turn, unless they get there first.


The first team to leave the pit stop in Kilimanjaro, Tanzania, are once again Blonde Rachel and Dave at 6:03 AM. They get a clue telling them to drive on a safari back into the Ngorongoro Crater, then travel to Safari Junction, where they need to search for “Hillary Clin Ton.” At Safari Junction? Really? Sure enough, Dave is expecting the Double U-Turn, so wants to arrive first before Border Patrol, and they are considering U-Turning the Green Team (Big Brother).


Kentucky team Bopper and Mark are the next to leave just two minutes later at 6:05 AM. Bopper injured his knee on the last leg, but before he lets it stop him, he’ll let them cut it off, and he’ll “keep on truckin’.” He believes they entered the Race as huge underdogs, while Mark adds that he doesn’t think they’re underdogs anymore. They’ve moved up to where everyone is recognizing them as a threat. That might not be so good on a leg with a Double U-Turn.


Border Patrol agents Art and J.J. are the next to leave at 6:23 AM. Way back in Bavaria, Germany, they created an alliance with Blonde Rachel and Dave, and all agreed they would U-Turn the Green Team. With their ears probably ringing, Big Brother leaves at 6:48, and Rachel says the more the haters hate, the stronger she and Brendon get. She wants to just “let them drink their Haterade,” and she and Brendon will be the ones who benefit from it. He oddly comments, “Feed me, Seymour.” Vanessa and Ralph leave at 7:18 AM.


Driving through the Crater, Dave comments that it’s referred to as “Africa’s Garden of Eden.” It’s very tranquil, and he finds the mystique phenomenal. Watching the sunrise, Bopper tells Mark he’s glad to be doing the Race with him, and the feeling is mutual. Redhead Rachel would like to forget about the Race and just stay there. I’m sure that would make the five other teams very happy. Dave thinks he’s looking at Mrs. Robinson instead of group of baboons as he calls out, “Kookoocachoo.” He finds this the most surreal experience of his life, as it’s exceeding all his expectations.


Bopper is amazed to see “stuff that we ain’t never going to see in Kentucky.” The don’t even know what some of the animals are. He knows his daughter would freak out to see it. Art is just as amazed and thinks if they win the million dollars, they can always fly back there. Redhead Rachel calls this “so much cooler than a zoo.” It’s made them forget that they were racing, and one of the best parts is that the people they don’t like are nowhere to be found. Brendon sees it as a “pause in the game.” Vanessa wanted to go on a safari in Africa and see an elephant, and here she is.


Blonde Rachel and Dave and Kentucky reach Safari Junction at the same time and start asking around for “Hillary Clin Ton.” Meanwhile, a box baring the name Barack Obama is visible. So what’s the deal with U.S. politics? They both get pointed in the direction of a small little cart outside baring the name “Hillary Clin Ton Shop.”


The two teams find a Detour – Water Supply or Air Supply. In Water Supply, teams will pick up a cartful of empty containers at a specific address and make their way to the well. They’ll wait their turn, fill the containers, and bring them back. In Air Supply, teams will work with a local mechanic to fix a tire puncture. First, they need to remove the inner tire without removing the wheel from the bike, find the leak, patch it up, fill it, and take it for a test run. Both teams decide to do Air Supply; let’s just hope they don’t break out in cheesy ’80s songs.


Border Patrol are approaching Safari Junction and looking for Hillary Clin Ton. Art says she’s kind of old now, but he doesn’t know what she looks like here. J.J. suggests that she’s probably wearing a pantsuit. They see the shop, find the Detour, and decide to do Water Supply. The other two teams begin the fix-a-flat challenge. Dave is used to removing a tire from the bike to fix the flat, but realizes their practice here is to leave it connected. Mark works on the tire saying when he was growing up, they didn’t have new bikes. Rachel and Dave find the hole, telling the local mechanic he’s a good teacher. He winks at the camera.


Border Patrol picks up their canisters and transport them to the water hole, only to see a huge line of people waiting. Art realizes it takes thirty to thirty-five seconds or so to fill a bucket, then counts about sixty buckets in line, so knows it’ll be about thirty to forty minutes until they get to the front of the line. It gives them an appreciation of what people must do just to get water. J.J. suggests they not move, as it’ll take twenty to thirty minutes just to find the Air Supply challenge.


Brendon and Rachel stop for directions and are told Hillary Clin Ton is inside the petrol station, but then see Barack Obama and Hillary Clin Ton on the side of the road. They decide to do Air Supply. Vanessa and Ralph arrive and ask around for Hillary Clin Ton. They can’t find anyone that knows anything about this. As they pass right bight the tiny shop, she figures it’s probably something obvious that they’re missing.


Rachel and Dave are fixing their flat still, as are Kentucky. Bopper points out he has mechanic hands and compares this to a NASCAR pit stop. Rachel and Dave’s tire isn’t fixed, which produces arguing from them yet again. He blames, and she strikes back, just like always. Meanwhile, Kentucky is asking to have their tire looked at and approved. Border Patrol is still waiting in line figuring now there are about a hundred buckets before them, surprising, as I thought it was sixty before.


Kentucky get passed and receive a clue to make their way on foot to Jack Stelzer Pub where there is a Double U-Turn ahead. Mark tries to ask for directions and has a local just nodding as him. Language barrier apparently. Finally someone tells him it’s about three kilometers ahead. Blonde Rachel and Dave are still fixing and arguing as she offers to just sit back and let him do it. They finish and get their tired passed and receive the next clue, as Big Brother arrive. She’s worrying about them being U-turned after seeing Rachel and Dave leave, and Brendon tells her they just need to make it through that and focus.


Federal Agents Nary and Jamie are finally leaving at 9:21 AM. It’s a bummer to them to leave in last place, but they say they’re just here to have a great time, try to win a million dollars, and see the world. The only thing they can do is just fight for it, and they’re willing to do it, so “Speed Bump, here we come.”


Kentucky land at the pub and find the Double U-Turn. Not surprisingly, they decide to not U-Turn anyone. They receive a clue telling them to head to Gem Gallery & Arts. Rachel and Dave land at the pub and call it awesome when Kentucky tells them they didn’t U-Turn anyone. Rachel and Dave discuss their agreement to U-Turn the Green Team if it ever comes to that, but Dave feels success has been achieved either way without creating an unnecessary enemy. She says the “Teachers” are so far behind, they’ll be out anyway, so they decide to not use the U-Turn. They head to the Gem Gallery.


The “Teachers” are marveling looking at the sites, just as the others did. They particularly love seeing a baby zebra. Vanessa and Ralph are still walking, searching for “Hilary Clin Ton.” They stop and ask for directions again, and see Big Brother, realizing they must be close. Yet, they need to find the clue, and it’s highly unlikely Big Brother is going to help them and tell them where it is. Redhead Rachel sees them walking around confused, and figures it’s good for them. Indeed. Vanessa and Ralph argue, as the “Teachers” are waiting for a break to get back in the game. Finally a young boy shows them the tiny cart they were missing, and they decide to do Air Supply, again not a bad ’80s band.


As Nary and Jamie are arriving and knowing they need to really hurry, Border Patrol finally makes it to the front of their line. They’re imagining having to do this every day just to get water. They get their containers filled and take off to deliver them. Blonde Rachel is remembering just a few hours ago looking at the “bamboons,” but now it’s race time. Dave corrects her that they’re called “baboons.” They reach the gallery and find a clue telling them to head to Margaret’s Farm. Kentucky gets there just after them. They get back on their road in search of the farm and encourage their driver to pass Rachel and Dave. Their goal is to just stay in the game, but they would like to experience first place just once. If that’s the point, then wait and do it on the all-important last leg.






Border Patrol is still pushing their water back. They marvel at all the people out and about and that the everyone wants to help them. They get the water delivered and get the next clue to head to the Double U-Turn. As much as they want to enjoy the place, they know they need to get there. They find the Double U-Turn, and seeing no one U-Turned assume no one’s been there and that they’re the first. They U-Turn Brendon and Rachel, and marvel at how clean they themselves look in the picture that pops up. They explain they’re done with Big Brother and that they made a deal with Rachel and Dave. They’re hoping Rachel and Dave will show up behind them and U-Turn the teachers/cops, whatever they are.



Kentucky’s driver passes Rachel and Dave, and she’s a little incredulous. Apparently everyone else is supposed to let them coast to a first place finish every time. Brendon and Rachel finish their flat tire challenge and take off for the Double U-Turn. Nary and Jamie are walking around searching for Hillary Clin Ton. Vanessa and Ralph are working on their flat tire, and she tells him to start thinking about the next challenge, as she knows they’ll be doing it, thinking Big Brother will U-Turn them. He thinks she’s going too slow while she worries about that.


Border Patrol reach the Gem Gallery, and get the clue. As they take off for the Farm, J.J. is noting that they now know they’re third, meaning Dave and Rachel didn’t honor their word, and they know Dave would. Brendon and Rachel realize they’re Double U-Turned, and use the opportunity to U-Turn their “favorite people in the world,” Vanessa and Ralph. He jokes it’s a struggle to figure out who to do this to.


Nary and Jamie reach Hillary Clin Ton and decide to do Air Supply as Vanessa and Ralph are filling up their tire. They finish and take off for the pub. They realize how far they’re behind seeing the teachers. At the pub, she sees they have been U-Turned, and he figures they’ll be eliminated, as they’re getting their asses handed to them. Nary and Jamie work on the fix-a-flat, as Big Brother are picking up their water jugs. They approach the water line and are really worried, knowing they need all the time they can get. She’s also wondering if they can drink the water.


Kentucky lands at the Farm and find a Roadblock. One person in each team must put on a bee suit and harvest honey from a hive, surrounded by swarming bees. Once they get the right amount of honey, they’ll get the next clue. Mark decides to do this one. Rachel and Dave arrive, and she’d like him to do it. While waiting, Bopper tells Blonde Rachel about his knee problems. He had surgery about six months ago, and it’s been great, but this has been grueling on it. Mark gets instruction on harvesting the honey, and heads out to do it. He just gets right in there and takes charge of it. Dave starts working on his as well.






J.J. is still worried about what happened at the Double U-Turn. He knows Dave would follow his word, and will be disappointed to find out they didn’t do what they promised they would. Art suggests they wait and get to the end to find out what happened. They know Big Brother isn’t happy to have to go do the water challenge, and that produces a laugh from J.J.


Big Brother finally gets their jugs filled, and she starts dropping containers because they’re heavy. They start arguing, of course, and this dumps all the containers as they’re trying not to lose any of the water. Vanessa and Ralph reach the water line, and figure there are eighty or ninety people with buckets. They, too, discuss what people must do just to get water. They know what little the teachers have to do with the flat, so figure they’re in last place.


Mark and Dave are still working on grabbing the honey, and Dave is hoping just to do this and get $500,000. Mark finishes and takes it to the end, and has it weighed and passes. He and Bopper get a clue to make their way on foot to the pit stop, Lake Manyara, a place described by Ernest Hemingway as the “loveliest lake in Africa.” With Rachel and Dave right behind them, and with Bopper’s bad knee, they know they really have to hurry to be named team number one.


Border Patrol arrives, and this might slow Dave and Rachel down a little, as I’m sure Art and J.J. want to have a few words with them. Art decides he’ll do it, just as Dave finishes. But before he and Rachel can take off, Art and J.J. see them, and J.J. asks why they didn’t do the U-Turn. They explain that because the Teachers are so far behind, they decided not to. Rachel asks them if they U-Turned someone, and they say yes, as they thought Dave and Rachel must be behind them. She figures the Teachers won’t catch up anyway. J.J. says there is no more alliance, and it’s just he and Art. He’s not sharing a damn thing with them anymore, and doesn’t want to even talk to them anymore. They just need to do their thing now and win the race.













Kentucky is running, looking for the pit stop, and Bopper is apologizing that he can’t keep up. Dave and Rachel are approaching. Phil Kehoghan is there on his mat jamming with some locals. Sure enough it’s Kentucky that comes running in to take first place. They celebrate, as well they should. Dave and Rachel arrive for team number two. She’s excited, but thinks Dave is being a poor loser. He tries to recover and say he’s happy for Kentucky. Phil tells him to give Rachel some props. Kentucky, meanwhile, has won a trip for two to Hawaii. Bopper never thought in a million years he’d have an opportunity to be on the Race and stand in the middle of Africa with his best friend. Kentucky is in the house, and they’re coming on strong, according to them.


Art is working on the honeycomb and feels like Winnie the Pooh, while being really slow and meticulous. He brings it up and has it weighed, and passes, getting the clue to the pit stop. He wishes the beekeeper there a Hakuna Matata. They take off for the pit stop, while deciding if Dave and Rachel ask them for anything, they’re going to act like they’re not even there. They land on Phil’s mat, and are pronounced team number three. They discuss their beef with Phil and call what Dave and Rachel did a slap in the face. If J.J. could do it over again, he’d get ahead of them and tag them with the U-Turn. It makes him sick to his stomach.


Brendon and Rachel deliver the water, as he worries she’ll hurt herself carrying the water. I don’t think he’s worried about that, but her nearly spilling it again. They get their clue to go to the pub … again. He remarks on the way there that they kicked ass, but Rachel’s hurting and bleeding a little bit. She points it out and asks if it’s a little bit. Nary and Jamie are working on their flat still, as Vanessa and Ralph are filling their water. They get it delivered and take off for the pub … again. Nary and Jamie get their tired passed and also take off for the pub.


Brendon and Rachel look for a taxi and run into Nary and Jamie and tell them they got U-Turned and U-Turned Vanessa and Ralph, so they have a shot. Rachel breaks down in the cab saying she’s mentally exhausted. Vanessa and Ralph get a cab, and she mentions gleefully they have the best luck with cabs. Right after that, their cab gets a flat. How ironic is that after a fix-a-flat challenge and after her remark about the best luck? Nary and Jamie are now on their way in a cab and hoping they can catch up with Vanessa and Ralph. They still have their Speed Bump ahead though.


Vanessa and Ralph’s cab finally has four working tires, and they are making their way again to the Gem Gallery. Brendon and Rachel get there first and take off for the Farm. Vanessa/Ralph and Nary/Jamie get to Gem Gallery at the same time. The Federal Agents find their speed bump and have to properly set up an art stand to match a display. When finished, they can carry on. Ralph isn’t feeling great about their position, as he thinks they’ll get this Speed Bump done quickly.


Brendon and Rachel get to the farm, and she decides to do the honey challenge. He yells out encouragement, and she says she wants to to be careful and respectful. She keeps smoking the bees, saying she’s using it like perfume. She finishes quickly, and she, too, compares herself to Winnie the Pooh. They make their way to the pit stop and land on the mat to be named team number four. She says, “Thank goodness; Double U-Turn that.”


Vanessa and Ralph reach the Roadblock, and he wants her to do it, but she says he is better under pressure. He gets suited up and says it’s a first for him. Nary and Jamie get their Speed Bump passed and take off for the farm. They know they’re in the race after just seeing Vanessa and Ralph. Nevertheless, Ralph finishes quickly, and they make their way to the pit stop. They’re named team number five. They can’t believe they’re still there after getting U-Turned and having every complication you can imagine.


Nary and Jamie reach the Roadblock, and Nary decides to do it. She finishes, and they take off for the pit stop. They reach Phil’s mat, and are promptly eliminated after being the last to arrive twice in a row. He tells them they did an extraordinary job today. Jamie says to share it with Nary with special. It was more challenging than she would have expected. Nary wouldn’t have done it with anyone other than Jamie.


Of course, because of this, we have to again talk about the last team to survive a non-elimination. Kentucky had the speed bump, but managed to stay in the Race, and now they’re number one. You have to appreciate the game they’re playing. They aren’t stooping to a level of talking shit about anyone else and don’t walk around whining when they don’t get their way. Because of that, they didn’t have to even worry about being U-Turned, while the others had the drama of that. They snuck right in there to the lead. Although now that they’re there, they have to keep it. People need to remember even though it’s a race, they’re still a certain amount of social game you have to play.